I wrote this little sea shanty back in March to celebrate the ships that left port for the Far East from the UK not knowing whether they would face tariffs on their cargo or if they would even be allowed to dock (depending on whether or not the UK had crashed out of the EU with a no deal).
All those ‘just in time’ businesses had an exciting time too, wondering whether their businesses would survive. Fortunately, now it seems that May’s departure is imminent and she will probably be replaced by Boris who will put us through it all over again. So a slight change to the first line and a new verse on the kipper saga has been added (Johnson made false claims about regulations on smoked fish – the applicable regulation was a UK regulation – and he misrepresented sensible EU regulations designed to ensure food safety. But who wants pesky food safety regulations anyway, just another example of these bloody Marxists in the EU trying to prevent us from all getting food poisoning. Don’t they know our British constitutions are made of sterner stuff? We don’t get food poisoning. We’re British.
Oh, it’s going to be great swashbuckling across the seven seas making all these “easy” Brexity trade deals, Arrrr! Pass the chlorinated chicken please.
Piracy of the High Cs (aka Davy Cock-Ups Shocker)
Yo ho Bojo
A sly rat’s the life for me
Leaving’s as great
As faeces of hate
If your business is “just in time”
Be a bold Brexiteer,
There’s no Trucking here
Just being stuck on the A2 is fine
Go slow, foreclose
A lie that’s alright for me
On the side of a bus
Stop making a fuss
It’s the easiest deal to agree
You can set sail for Japan
Feeling glad we’ve began
To realise that we are all at sea
Kippers skipper?
Let’s complain how they regulate these
These damn EU folk’s
Regulatory yoke’s
Designed to prevent disease
But though Bo has no doubt
His claim it turns out
Is fishier than all of the seas
Logos slogans
The brexiest men are we
There’s Foxy and Gove,
Rees Mogg’s such a cove,
Boris loves The China Sea
When they sing that too fast
Johnson’s still at half mast
These seamen (sic) untie and flee
Yo ho pogo
These punks, Etonian sleaze
Blowing the sales
Of business, to wails
They go down with each other, to pleas
“Suspend quickly or rue
Article fifty two
Before we sink under this “ease”
Yo ho yo ho …. (fades into the distance of stranger shores … What Shores? Mine’s a Rum and … what do you mean you haven’t got any coke? Oh, stuck at Calais. Oh, well just bitter as usual then. Who needs that foreign stuff anyway. Let’s make Britain great again. Full steam ahead, back to the Greasy Spoon in 1972 please. A plate of lard and a slice of suet for afters. And let’s wash it down with a Great British cup of tea from the colonies if …what..stuck at Dover … You don’t have anything for scurvy, by the way, do you? Let me guess … not at Dover, thank God! What … waiting to dock at Ramsgate. How is the dredging operation going?
With thanks to Double Don Tinder (of Double Don Tinder’s double entendres) for the tariff free supply of the double entendres.