Jacob Rees-Mogg’s Breath of Fresh Air
(Aka It’s Such a Wheeze)
Jacob Rees-Mogg wants the brouhaha ha ha
He needs the holler and whoop and ya ya ya
The scowls of Etonians
The howls of the crony uns
So, fingers in ears he says “na na na na”
Piously and proudly he then will pronounce
As he pontificates, “There isn’t an ounce
Of such need for despair
Though one must be aware
And alert, just in case that Covid should pounce”
Hoyle interjects (to be balanced and fair)
“There’s nothing to fear”, he says from the chair
“We are Covid-secure
This chamber must endure
Cleansed are the benches of so much hot air”
Perhaps Mogg and Hoyle would do better to filter
Than back one another right up to the hilt, they’re
Odd collusion it seems
Was the stuff made of dreams
But airborne progression can throw out of kilter
The smooth running and workings of a house where
Seats require disinfecting – in bleach doused, their
Proceedings were halted
The house leader vaulted
Through hoops to hide the wet patch on his trouser
“But no further explanation is required
The effrontery, that Pete Wishart enquired!
Why the nerve of that man
Of course we have a plan
Prepared just in case an old MP’s expired
We will ensure that it cannot be seen
By covering it up, with a deep clean
Then we’ll say ‘Bon voyage’
And pay such a homage
Although, that may seem a little obscene”
Then J. Rees-Mogg will remind you once more
Up to the point where he sounds like a bore
“That our democracy
Demands presence (for me)
But don’t you worry your safe and sick you’re”
Remember to pronounce the last “you’re” as “yore” to emulate Mogg’s plummy voice!
Slàinte