Giuliani Investigates (aka Rudy’s Crimea River Fishing Trip)
Rudy Giuliani’s lines of inquiry
Are tangled, he’s wearing a wire, he
Has under his pants
As he tries to enhance
His rod, with a pulley, all wiry
But his rod, he cannot pull up straight
Though not heavy (in fact it’s lightweight)
But his old apparatus
Is strapped on where his hat is
The private dick head has his master bait
For that’s where Giuliani keeps flies
In his head, buzzing behind his eyes
But he can’t catch a thing
His attempt at a sting
With such bugs is a flawed enterprise
So now his old equipment just droops
An assembly with so many hoops
That he cannot thread
So he tries instead
To pull by hand, see how low, he stoops
But something then went in his back
As his ancient vertebrae crack
But he’s glad he’s in Ukraine
Where they have killers for pain
(Just like ISIS once had in Iraq)
But he can’t to the Euphrates go
Giuliani’s youth rate is too low
So for crime he’s a-slither
Off to cry me a river
‘Cos he can’t get his ducks in a row
Breaking News… Fishing trip cancelled, Giuliani doesn’t have the right tackle.